Me, Myself and Lavanya

I am feeling like using all the slangs I know on her. But I know I am feeling like this coz im really very angry n irritated at her now. I never had or thought anything bad about her from my heart. I was almost sure for what reason her dad came suddenly without informing. Now, it became clear. She told her dad has already matched her horoscope with some guy working in the US. She told, her dad will take her home once again as in December if she doesn't agree for the marriage! Now, what was I supposed to do or say? She was never ready for a registered marriage with me, even though after so many things had happened last December. She asked me "Will you take care of me?" I said, yes but not without a registered marriage. Beacuse, I am sure her parents and family will screw up my life and career if I don't take steps legally and without thinking anything about the future. I asked her clearly, what do you mean my taking care of u? All these days was I not doing that? Then I said, I know that your parents will surely screw my life if I do things like taking you away from your home without any legal proof. She is going to be 24 years old in a few months. If she agrees, we can easily do a registered marriage and then at least I'll have a legal document saying that we are married and I can take her to me whenever the time comes. Asked her once again before a few minutes. I am going home today at 11:15pm and told her only if she agrees for a registered marriage today, we are going to meet. She instantly said NO!!

She was always more concerned about her parents, their health, their money and her job. Just a few days back she sent money to her dad, coz he was in need. I just asked her, what can you do to help me, if your dad files an FIR against me saying that I kidnapped her daughter? I know it is quite possible. Once it happens, I myself will be in trouble! She will get away clean. This bloody Indian law just sucks. She told me, I am not confident of taking care of her when I asked her this. In return, she blamed me that I said that my life will be spoiled if I marry her! She knows very well how to twist n turn sentences and blame me for each and everything.

Till 3:30pm yesterday, I was thinking I would be going home nicely after spending my bday with her. But, everything is totally spoiled now and I am fully irritated at her responses to my questions. She told me she would meet me for the last time today!! HORSE SHIT!! Till yesterday she was saying I love you and God knows what all promises and decisions she had made.

I am really scared of her and her parents now. They can easily try to harm me in many ways if her marriage gets fixed somewhere else. I need to very careful with this lady's words now. I am feeling like becoz of her I would be in great trouble in the future.

Don't know if I can keep updating this blog regulary till I return to Bangalore on 31st May. But, will try my best…

We met in the morning at 10:30am to celebrate my bday. Sat in the park for a few minutes and then went to Udupi Garden's for breakfast. She bought a bouquet and a nice T-shirt for me as present. I asked her to keep it in her PG, and while returning in the evening I will take those and go to my PG, coz her PG is on the way to the restaurant where we had breakfast. Next, we went to Forum Mall, and booked 2 tickets for "Poseidon". It was a nice movie, somewhat similar to the Titanic theme. The movie got over at about 2:40pm and we came to KFC for lunch. We didnt even finish eating, she got a call from her PG care-taker saying that her dad is waiting for her in the PG. It was totally shocking for both of us! The last time her parents came without informing her was on December 14th. And there was a strong reason for that and it was a bit predictable. Now, niether me or she could understand why her dad came without informing and most of all why didn't he call her up directly and ask where she was? Instead, he asked her PG care-taker to call her up and tell that her dad was waiting for her in the PG!

I dropped her on the way and returned to my PG. I am too tensed now and don't know what is going to happen next. She said, she would call me and say whatever happens. Its already 5:30pm now, more than 1 hour has passed and she hasn't called. I sent few messages and tried calling her, but there was no response.

I don't want the same thing to happen once again!! For God's sake!!

Yeh! I will be 25 years old on the 17th of May, 2006 Just one more day to go! But I aint feeling very excited about it, coz of these ups and downs going on in my life. Fights, argumets and compromises, have become too much to handle these days. That's about it. No special plans for this birthday. Not yet decided anything about my future. Just letting life take its toll on me. Waiting for 30th May, coz I'll be completing one year of my job as a Technical Support Engineer in Hewlett Packard. I feel there's something to be really proud about it, coz I know I have done my job sincerely and with enough dedication. Got two customer appreciation mails today! Many of you reading this may not be having a clue about what I am talking. Anyways, that's okay. If you have ever worked for a customer support or technical support company, then only you would get an idea of it.

She's bought a T-shirt for my b'day. Still we aren't talking normally. Don't know how these two days are going to be before I go home on 18th. I am not too excited about going home, coz at one point of time I was feeling bored of this job. But now its kinda okay.

Not sure if I'll be able to keep this blog updated while I am at home, coz I dont have Internet access there and it's not possible to go to cafe and write all these. I need my own private space to open up my mind, where no one will be there to disturb me.

Cheers!! Make a great day

We have had a lot of discussions and arguments going on regarding our sun signs lately. I am a Taurean and she's a Libran. She always keeps telling me that Taureans are too possesive and that's one of the bad qualities of us. The one major difference between Taureans in Librans which I haven't ever told her is that Taurus is always very faithful, but Libran's are the biggest flirts! Open any alstrology book or web site if you don't believe me. A flirt never likes possesiveness, don't you think so? I was searching for some good explainations of Taurus/Libra couples. Have put in some information here, which practically happens between us.

Libra/Taurus Love Match

In this match both work to develop a higher mind and embrace all aspects of the world of art which should provide an excellent basis for their relationship, but Libra can aggravate Taurus no end with his quick changes such as: one week throwing himself or herself into his/her work to such an extent that he/she will hardly notice Taurus' existence, and the next, Libra will wallow in complete laziness, putting off all decisions that need to be made.

Taurus likes to plan life but libra will make no such commitment and this can lead to some violent abuse on both sides. If Taurus is female she will want a man that works steady and provides a good income, but Libra hates routines of any kind and will oftentimes look for employment that will give him/her room for self expression.

In plain simple language, Libra is the worst kind of flirt and uses this as an ego booster and nothing else, but the Taurean jealousy would not be able to put up with this for very long. To have this relationship have even a small chance Taurus must learn to put up with it. Libra usually tolerates The jealous outbursts of Taurus. If Taurus makes decisions about their relationship he/she needs to be right as Libra will lay the entire blame on Taurus.

Their sexual attraction is likely to be so strong that they can escape some of the personality problems in bed, but sooner or later they reach the conclusion that they must live with the world and this will slowly undermine their sexual relationship. Unless the charts are very well aspected for these two the union is not likely to last too long. Not recommended, and not a match made in Heaven.
The above text is from here.

Just remember that when you're involved with a Taurus, you're involved with a sensualist, a nature lover, an indulger and a money lover. When you're involved with a Libra, you're involved with a peacemaker, a diplomat, a balancer and a glamor puss.

If you can give a Taurus security, beauty, nature and pleasure you have a better chance of getting their love and affection. If you can give a Libra class, style, fairness and equality then you have a better chance of getting their love and affection.

Taurus likes to touch nice things, own nice things, wear nice things, eat nice things and have nice things. For Taurus touch or the physical world is real and gives comfort. In fact, "I Have" is something of a philosophy for Taurus. Libra is a nice person and tends to be a bit more cultured and "better" than others. Usually, Libra is also diplomatic enough to keep your superiority complexes in check. The more that Libra becomes fair-minded, impartial and unprejudiced, the happier Libra becomes.

Essentially, Taurus needs to be assured that everything's O.K., safe and secure. Once that's taken care of Taurus is ready for gracious living. That is to say, Taurus need some good food, antique furniture and passionate sex. Libra has the potential for much social intercourse and favorable public contact. To really thrive, Libra needs to be part of a loving, committed "marriage."

It is important that Taurus acquire some mastery over the physical, practical and earthly world. Then, paradoxically, Taurus must learn to let go. Taurus will only find security by acquiring a sense of self that is separate from possessions. Actually, it's not so much about what you possess Taurus, but about not being in "survival jeopardy."

In the relationship between Taurus and Libra adjustment is key. You both need to give more than you get. This association requires extra sensitivity. At first, each may be somewhat irritated about each other. In time, with work, the very thing that caused the irritation may lead to personal fulfillment. You can't force growth in this alliance- go along with the changes. To beat the odds, change your routines.

All things being equal, Libra prefers civil conversation. Libra usually does not find reason for raised voices or crude language at inappropriate times. Embarrassment can be an issue for Libra. Libra likes to ask for advice, but does not like to be told what to do. Libra needs a cushy job in a swanky environment.

The above text is from here.

Some more about Taurus/Libra is here.