Me, Myself and Lavanya

I am feeling like using all the slangs I know on her. But I know I am feeling like this coz im really very angry n irritated at her now. I never had or thought anything bad about her from my heart. I was almost sure for what reason her dad came suddenly without informing. Now, it became clear. She told her dad has already matched her horoscope with some guy working in the US. She told, her dad will take her home once again as in December if she doesn't agree for the marriage! Now, what was I supposed to do or say? She was never ready for a registered marriage with me, even though after so many things had happened last December. She asked me "Will you take care of me?" I said, yes but not without a registered marriage. Beacuse, I am sure her parents and family will screw up my life and career if I don't take steps legally and without thinking anything about the future. I asked her clearly, what do you mean my taking care of u? All these days was I not doing that? Then I said, I know that your parents will surely screw my life if I do things like taking you away from your home without any legal proof. She is going to be 24 years old in a few months. If she agrees, we can easily do a registered marriage and then at least I'll have a legal document saying that we are married and I can take her to me whenever the time comes. Asked her once again before a few minutes. I am going home today at 11:15pm and told her only if she agrees for a registered marriage today, we are going to meet. She instantly said NO!!

She was always more concerned about her parents, their health, their money and her job. Just a few days back she sent money to her dad, coz he was in need. I just asked her, what can you do to help me, if your dad files an FIR against me saying that I kidnapped her daughter? I know it is quite possible. Once it happens, I myself will be in trouble! She will get away clean. This bloody Indian law just sucks. She told me, I am not confident of taking care of her when I asked her this. In return, she blamed me that I said that my life will be spoiled if I marry her! She knows very well how to twist n turn sentences and blame me for each and everything.

Till 3:30pm yesterday, I was thinking I would be going home nicely after spending my bday with her. But, everything is totally spoiled now and I am fully irritated at her responses to my questions. She told me she would meet me for the last time today!! HORSE SHIT!! Till yesterday she was saying I love you and God knows what all promises and decisions she had made.

I am really scared of her and her parents now. They can easily try to harm me in many ways if her marriage gets fixed somewhere else. I need to very careful with this lady's words now. I am feeling like becoz of her I would be in great trouble in the future.

Don't know if I can keep updating this blog regulary till I return to Bangalore on 31st May. But, will try my best…