Me, Myself and Lavanya

All the mails, n all the cards I had had sent her are gone. She deleted everything including the folders I had created for her in her inbox wherein she used to store my mails. This bitch calls herself a normal girl! She calls herself Lavanya Trivedi. The “Trivedi” in her name T.Lavanya is fake. She herself told this to me few months back in January, 2006. She’s a pure orthodox South Indian, a native of a Palamaner near Tirupati in Andhra Pradesh. No south Indian can ever have Trivedi as a surname! I bet you.

She has always taken everything from me, used them, and then broken them and thrown them. That includes my heart. I was a fool to trust this bitch. Even after she told me clearly that she would never leave her parents and marry me, last December. My parents, friends and everyone else who knew me tried to explain me a number of times, they told a bitch who can change her mind in 3 days regarding her life partner can never be faithful to anyone. Still I trusted her and did everything I could for her.

What more can you expect from a bitch who said, I forced her to love me! Anyone in the world who knows the meaning of love will never say that love comes by force. The bitch enjoyed with me and my money all through the time she was with me. Finally, left me and married a man at least 10 years older than her and is now waiting to go and get settled in Johanesburg, SA. She left her job by the end of July and got married on August 12th. Since then she is sitting at home and chatting with her old friends and over the Internet, creating new email IDs. Her VISA and passport everything are ready. May be this man, her husband fell for innocent looks and face, just like me. One day he will come to know the real bitch hidden inside her innocent face. It’s just because of her innocent looks, she kept on fooling me all through this time.

Long back in October 2004, when i didn’t know anything about this girl. We were just batchmates in a training institute, she asked me for my phone number and called me the same day itself. Then she started playing with my feelings. I had this feeling, that she’ll never understand the meaning of love, from the way she used to speak about love. She has always put down and spoken shit about love when things don’t go her way. By March 2005, she repeatedly kept on asking me, why am I so possesive about her and did I love her. I never replied to this question for a few months. She kept of asking the same thing every evening when I used to call her and talk for hours. All through the year 2005 she used my cell phone and most of the time I used to recharge the cell for her so that I can talk to her. She never spent a pie for me till May 2005, when she bought a shirt for me on my b’day. I didn’t like it a lot. I just wore it a few times because she had had bought it for me with her money.

It took her just 3 days to change her mind in December, 2005 when her parents took her back home from Bangalore when they came to know about our relationship. She sent me a message saying she can never scarifice her parents for me! I still have most of her messages in which she has made huge promises and talked about dying if she isn’t able to stay with me! All that was bullshit. She has spoken very cheap about me, even after taking so much help from me. There have been times, when she won’t be having even 10 rupees with herself. At the most difficult times I have helped her and she does have a very bad habit of forgetting such things. The day her purse got snatched on the streets of BTM 2nd Stage, I helped her lodge a complaint in the police station and made sure that she doesn’t lose anything. The bitch doesn’t know how much I have scarificed for her.

Last December, when my mom was in Bangalore to talk to her parents and come to conclusion regarding what they want or what this bitch wants from me, she or her parents didn’t respond to my mom’s calls. On April 29th, 2006 she was sleeping with me in a resort. About 1 month later she got enagaged to this man named Mahesh! Isn’t that too fast? Doesn’t it look kinda planned? It’s already been a year since I started repaying the loan I took for both of us. She’s least bothered about that. She hadn’t had to spend anything when she was with me. Now, she’s married and her husband earns a lot. she’s got lots of money to spend now.

More than a million times I should have told her that I love her and can’t stay without her. Still the only excuse she gave me before getting engaged to this man, is that I don’t have that confidence to keep her happy and give her a secured life. What the fuck was she doing with me all through this time till May 17th, 2006 if she knew I don’t have that confidence and I am a coward? The fucking bitch told me, I am a coward and left me. Actually, she didn’t have the guts to convince her parents or talk to my mom.

Wherever she goes, no matter whatever she tries to get me out of her mind, I won’t ever let that happen. May be for a few years she can hide her past from her husband, but not forever. She spoiled my life. I can’t ever trust any girl in my life. What about me now? This is question I asked her when I talked to her for the last time….